Archive for the 'not satire' Category

Strong-Arming Pharmacists

Monday, January 15th, 2007

Planned Parenthood wants to have laws that force pharmacists to carry the “morning after pill:”

Planned Parenthood wants to make sure pharmacists “won’t intimidate or harass a patient” by opting out of dispensing a controversial drug. Karen Brauer with Pharmacists for Life International says that language would apply to pharmacists who explain to customers that the ‘morning-after pill’ sometimes acts as an abortifacient, and they won’t distribute it on moral grounds.

I think that pharmacies should be forced to carry weed for my convenience. It’s my “right,” after all. That they don’t is clearly intimidation towards me.

You know one lives in a hopelessly befuddled “nation” when anybody would be confused enough to suggest that the decision of a pharmacist to refuse to offer some or another drug for sale is seen as constituting a positive act of “intimidation” or “harassment” towards women desiring the morning-after pill.

FedExecrable

Sunday, January 14th, 2007

Just doing their part to protect the empire.

If you need to ship emptiness or a concept, don’t use FedEx. They will refuse your package.

The FedEx guy then grabs cans of nitrogen (N2) and neon (Ne), with their store-advertised “purity” of 78.084% and 0.0018% respectively (which was our way of being clever about selling cans of normal air, since that’s their percentage in the atmosphere—which, of course, was our way of making more money for 826 Seattle by selling products that cost almost nothing to produce).

… 

FedEx guy: Nope. You can’t ship these either.
Me: But… they’re empty! It’s just air. And… nitrogen? It’s, like, almost 80% of the atmosphere. There’s nothing dangerous about nitrogen, even if it were pure.
FedEx guy: They look too much like bomb-making materials. 

Long story short, I packed them up there at the FedEx counter, with their scissors and tape and some extra bubble wrap I bought, and then I walked down the street to the U.S. Post Office and mailed them from there, all sealed up. 

Boing Boing