Strike The Root Blog

I received in my e-mail this morning some correspondence from a family member whose mind is clearly in thrall to Throne and Altar.

The e-mail was forwarded to him by someone whom I can only imagine is himself some kind of jackboot-licking Amero-Fascist. Here’s the complete text in all its power-loving, state-worshipping glory:

“It is time to change from REDNECK humor to TRUE AMERICAN Humor! Only it isn’t seen as HUMOR, but the correct way to LIVE YOUR LIFE ! If you feel the same, pass this on to your True American friends. Y’all know who they are…

“You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: It never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase, ‘One nation, under God.’

“You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You’ve never protested about seeing the 10 Commandments posted in public places.

“You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You still say ‘Christmas’ instead of ‘Winter Festival.’

“You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You bow your head when someone prays.

“You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You stand and place your hand over your heart when they play the National Anthem.

“You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You treat Viet Nam vets with great respect, and always have.

“You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You’ve never burned an American flag.

“You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You know what you believe and you aren’t afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.

“You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You respect your elders and expect your kids to do the same.

“You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You’d give your last dollar to a friend.

“If you got this email from me, it is because I believe that you, like me, have just enough TRUE AMERICAN in you to have the same beliefs as those talked about in this email.

“God Bless the USA! Amen

“AND PLEASE DO NOT FORGET TO SING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM IN ENGLISH.”

Breathtaking, isn’t it? Any comment I could make here would be totally pointless, as this lovely bit of Nationalist-Socialist prose pretty much speaks volumes for itself. Amerika und Jesus uber alles!!!

The one good thing that I can say about it is that it has inspired me to compose my own individualist, anarchist-libertarian variation. If it strikes your fancy, please feel free to copy and paste it into an e-mail message and send it out to any delusional neo-Nazi Amero-Fascists that may be in your address book.

To wit:

It is time to change from COLLECTIVIST humor to TRUE INDIVIDUALIST Humor!

Only it isn’t seen as HUMOR, but the correct way to VIEW REALITY! If you feel the same, pass this on to your True Individualist friends, or even better, anyone you know who can’t expand their consciousness beyond the narrow-minded statist-collectivist, power-worshipping, U.S. Government- might-makes-right paradigm. Y’all know who they are…

You might be a TRUE INDIVIDUALIST if: It doesn’t occur to you to be offended when you hear someone say that no bureaucrat has any right to force anyone else to bail other people out of the consequences of their own freely chosen actions. (I’m looking at you, government-insured homeowners in disaster-prone areas…)

You might be a TRUE INDIVIDUALIST if: It never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase, “I don’t believe there’s a god.” It doesn’t even occur to you to be offended by the phrase, “I believe there IS a god.” Whatever your convictions are about the existence of a god, you’re secure enough to not be offended by anyone who expresses the opposite viewpoint. This of course does not mean that you have a right to be free of criticism of your expression of belief. When publicly stating any belief, you had best be prepared to back it up with some kind of proof and a logically persuasive, rational argument.

You might be a TRUE INDIVIDUALIST if: You’ve never protested about seeing a copy of the Koran sitting on the dashboard of a taxicab. And you know that even if it did bother you, you are perfectly free to protest it—by getting out and hopping into another taxicab.

You might be a TRUE INDIVIDUALIST if: You still say “Christmas” if you damn well feel like it, or for that matter, “Winter Festival,” or “Holiday Season,” or “Ramadan” or “Hannukah” or “Kwanza” or whatever else you damn well please to call it.

You might be a TRUE INDIVIDUALIST if: You don’t really care whether or not someone prays. They’re free to make their choices, and you’re free to make yours. If someone chooses to bow down on their knees to an invisible, immaterial, supposedly omnipotent and omniscient cosmic being for whom there’s absolutely no proof of existence, that’s their business.

You might be a TRUE INDIVIDUALIST if: You consistently place loyalty to objective moral and ethical standards above blind loyalty to the government of your country. Just because it’s your country’s government, that doesn’t mean it’s always right.

You might be a TRUE INDIVIDUALIST if: You treat other human beings with respect, provided that they do likewise. If, however, it is known that they have been paid by a government—which can only happen by said government robbing productive people of the fruits of their labors—to bully and murder foreigners, it is highly questionable whether such a person actually deserves any respect.

However, such a person’s genuine remorse, desire to make penance, and a newfound dedication to ending government-sponsored slaughter of foreign innocents may restore any respect that was lost. See: “Vietnam Veterans Against the War,” “Iraq Veterans Against the War,” “Veterans for Peace,” etc.

You might be a TRUE INDIVIDUALIST if: You respect every other individual’s right to dispose of their own legitimately acquired property any way they wish, even if that means burning a pretty piece of red, white and blue cloth that symbolizes a human institution that presumes a legalized right to plunder, bully and murder others (i.e., “government.”)

You might be a TRUE INDIVIDUALIST if: You know your principles and aren’t afraid to say so, no matter how many people vote for principles opposite yours.

You might be a TRUE INDIVIDUALIST if: You recognize the errors of your elders and strive to avoid them whenever possible.

You might be a TRUE INDIVIDUALIST if: You’d give a helping hand to those whom you deem deserving of it, in other words, those whom you value, rather than out of pity or some perverse form of so-called “moral duty.” And when you do give such a person a helping hand, you’re cautious that you’re not simply enabling negative or self-destructive behavior.

If you got this email from me, it is because I believe that you, like me, have just enough TRUE INDIVIDUALISM in you to uphold the same principles as those talked about in this e-mail. Either that, or you’re absolutely one of the worst boot-licking, statist power-worshipping Christo-Nazis I have ever met in my entire life and you’re in desperate need of some truth to liberate your mind from the myths and fairy tales that have long polluted it.

May all your efforts achieve the values and goals that you desire to attain (as long as they don’t violate the rights and property of others)!

And if for some reason you ever feel a strange and mysterious urge to sing any song that glorifies the state and its warmongering, remember that you are equally free to sing it in English, Spanish, French, Farsi, Russian, Korean, Chinese, Pig Latin or any other language you prefer.

This, of course, applies equally to rock ‘n’ roll songs, country and western songs, cool jazz ditties, your favorite Broadway show tunes, or any other tune you enjoy singing.

This entry was posted on Monday, December 3rd, 2007 at 5:00 pm and is filed under Uncategorized, anarchism, war, nationalism, religion, fascism, peace, statism, liberty, military, Yourmerica, not satire. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.