Stop Worrying and Love the Bill

Column by Brian Anderson.
Exclusive to STR
To Our Devoted Citizens,
We’ve been hearing that a lot of you are upset with us—well, just the House of Representatives so far—for recently passing the National Defense Authorization Act for the fiscal year 2012. Luckily for Obama’s press secretary, the bill has not yet reached his desk. We did kind of tell you that he’d be vetoing the bill for its unconstitutionality (among other things), but, you know, we’re not going to recommend that anymore.
Quite frankly, we’re living in scary times. There are terrorists . . . everywhere. There are terrorists in your kitchen, on the trampoline in your backyard, and even under your bed. If that means unlawfully detaining American citizens without due process, so be it.
We’re going to protect the hell out of you whether you like it or not.
The ACLU called it “an historic threat to American citizens.” You know what else is an historic threat to American citizens? Terrorists.
A few politicians in our Congressional Clubhouse also chose to turn their backs on the State by speaking out against this indefinite detention clause. It doesn’t matter, though. No one likes them anyway. Ron Paul is old, Rand Paul is a racist, and Justin Amash’s last name sounds like a type of cooked potato; therefore their arguments are invalid.
So, yes, we will bring this piece of legislation to your doormat wrapped in the beautiful cloth of small government. It’s a federal power that we truly believe would have been approved by Thomas Jefferson himself.
After all, it was Thomas Jefferson who said, pointing to the Fifth Amendment, “I don’t really like this one.”
President Franklin Delano Roosevelt is, according to our historians without one doubt in the world, the single greatest president this country has ever had. Yet he bravely and amicably threw well over 100,000 Japanese people into internment camps during World War II. We don’t hear anyone complaining about that anymore, do we? And all with one executive order!
That’s because we all realize that every single person interned in those camps was a potential terrorist who could have been brainwashed by the Nazis, a regime so evil that it locked people up simply because of how they looked.
That ain’t my America.
You even get one of them democracy votes. You should feel so lucky to have this undeserved civility bestowed upon you by The Obama.
Stop worrying and love the bill,
The United States Government

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BrianAnderson's picture
Columns on STR: 4

Opinion columnist in the United States.


AtlasAikido's picture

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There are many attempting to refute the fact that the military has the authorization to indefinitely hold American citizens, but it is very clear that under this piece of legislation, the National Defense Authorization Act of 2012, the military can do just that. While the bill is filled with many deplorable aspects, mostly ignored I might add, the detention language is clear. Glenn Greenwald of Salon explains the myths concerning the detention portion of this bill in his brilliant article: "Three myths about the detention bill."....

WhiteIndian's picture

"civility bestowed"

Indeed, it is. City-lization has been a Trail of Tears for the majority of the world's inhabitants for the last 8000 years, save for the hierarchical elite who benefit from the invasive and occupational nature of city-Statism.

As civilization collapses, the hierarchy starts curtailing the amount of privileged people.

Now, even those near the center of the present global empire are catching a taste of what "civil" really means.


and now you're one of us
the wretched

the hope and pray
for better days
the far aways
forget it
forget it

it didn't turn out the way you wanted it to
it didn't turn out the way you wanted it, did it?
it didn't turn out the way you wanted it to
it didn't turn out the way you wanted it, did it?

you know
this is what it feels like
you know
this is what it feels like

Paul's picture

Actually, this bill and the camps that follow are a completely unsurprising development, almost a necessary step to the end of empire. If it did NOT happen I'd have to start wondering if my worldview is wrong. But it's been confirmed again.

Also, I should say that this is just like the paranoid nightmare of gun owners, that some law will be passed forcing us to turn in our guns. The fact is, we will turn them in only if we agree to turn them in. We will be detained indefinitely only if we agree to be. We do have a choice even here. We have free will. Yes the outcome of any choice we make is not very pleasant. But, there is still a choice.