Environmentalists Are Bad for the Environment

"Fortunately, I speak fluent liberalese, so I understood this request to really mean, 'Can I try and convince you the Earth is warming even as we stand here and shiver, and that you could do something to stop it by handing over money to a complete stranger on the street?' Frankly, I was appalled by the obliviousness of these seemingly well-meaning do-gooders. Do they know how many trees died to produce the pamphlets and flyers they were distributing will-nilly?"