We"d Better Close the Window . . . I Feel a Draft

Our eighteen year old just wants to try to live at peace with all men. So he went down to the State Highway Patrol and took a test for a learner's permit to "drive." I know, a little later than most boys, but he waited because I couldn't see footing a larger insurance bill just so he could joy ride around town. The State Highway Patrol was willing to give him his learner's permit without any "primary" papers. You see, my son doesn't have a birth certificate. He then went out with his mom or I for the last few months and learned how to negotiate the road with all of the idiot drivers on it. Every time we ALMOST had a wreck, it was the other guy pulling out without looking or whatever. Finally he felt he was capable, went back and took the driving portion of the test and was given a stamp of approval for his driver's license on the previously issued permit.

The next hoop to jump through was the Revenue Office, which refused to issue the little piece of plastic because--you guessed it--he didn't have a birth certificate. A friend of ours said if we took the proof we had south a few miles to a smaller town, they had a Revenue Office that would accept his alternative (an entry in the family bible that has been notarized). Duh? While in this office, the woman working there was very belligerent, which of course is the typical attitude of the exalted ones who work to make us jump through their little hoops, and in the time he was there, said at least 10 times, "You are going to have to sign up for the draft."

Interesting? I didn't even know there was a draft, but now I am starting to wonder. The great Wizard of Arkansas has passed an edict that you MUST sign up with Selective Service before you can be issued a driver's license. Exactly WHAT this has to do with driving is beyond me. But as you can see, the driver's license is becoming a hostage to any new government edict. Don't pay child support, loose your driver's license. Don't sign up for Selective Service, we won't give you one.

So what is our next step? We had no idea that it was a 'requirement' to sign up for Selective Service within 30 days of your 18th birthday, since it isn't advertised in the newspaper or on billboards or broadcast across the airwaves. And what do you suppose the penalty for not complying would be? Oh, only a measly $250,000 fine and/or five years if you are convicted of the heinous crime of not filling out this card and sending it in to these Baal gods. And then they wonder why folks won't go to court, or are willing to pick up a rifle and shoot their ass. It is getting hard to figure out isn't it? I wonder if this "law" is supposed to be one of those laws where "ignorance is no excuse"? I mean, it is a FELONY worth FIVE YEARS in the FEDERAL PEN for not filling out this paper, so it MUST be one of those type laws, don't you think? I can see the black-robed priest of Baal handing down his sentence from his religious pulpit of the state . . . How are we supposed to know all these crap "laws"? Maybe by osmosis? They sort of absorb into our minds as we are driving along the street? Well, I guess I am not tuned into their frequency because up until he went to get the driver's license (and I am 50), I had NO IDEA that this "law" existed. Even someone convicted of a serious crime like rape probably wouldn't get a $250,000 fine or five years in the slammer, either.

But then again . . . Aleksandr Solzhentitsyn mentioned a rather interesting phenomenon in The Gulag Archipelago. He said that when the communists took over the government in Russia , that they made crimes against the people of little or no effect, but a crime against the state was treated as if you had committed a heinous crime. Isn't that what is happening here? They let rapists and murderers loose amongst us to create mayhem and mischief, so we can clamor for MORE LAWS. MORE JAILS, MORE POLICE, MORE JUDGES, MORE LAWYERS. Obviously this is Hegelian dialectics at work. They create the problem and they offer the solution which of course is more of the above mentioned state agents.

Well, here is my suggestion . . . . All you young fellows should go ahead and make a "good faith" effort to sign up for the Selective Service. However, since they want your signature, don't give it to them. After all, it IS your property and they have no power on earth to FORCE you into giving it up to them in order to enter into a contract with them. If you use the card that you can get at the Post Office, and you have no birth certificate, then don't fill in the date of birth. If you don't have a socialist security number, don't fill that in. And where it wants you to put your name, fill it out but USE UPPER AND LOWER CASE letters, because they want all capitals which designates a FICTION at law. And of course they want you to sign and admit that you are the fiction as stated above in the contract. Where it says "State" there is a block for two letters. I cannot fit Arkansas in that block. And as for the zip code? Why do they need it? The POST OFFICE needs zip codes. That is what they are for.

Now attach a letter and explain the above and be sure to have it notarized and do not sign it. Then send it to them registered return receipt mail. That way you have PROOF that you made a good faith effort to register.

Here is what the letter could say:

I, (I will use myself as the example) Mark of the House of Reynolds, do hereby make the good faith effort to register with the Selective Service. However, the card you wish me to fill out has some glaring errors on it that I cannot in good faith fill out with the foreknowledge and understanding of the consequences.

1. You want my date of birth. Since I don't have a state-issued birth certificate, and in my case the place most folks call Arkansas refuses to allow the use of my proof of birth, I have no way to fill in this blank and in good faith sign that the statement is true. You see, I was not cognizant of my birth. I had no idea of the day or time, because I was an infant. I have to rely on the word of my parents to make the claim. They could have lied to me, though I do doubt it, but the possibility exists.

2. I have no Social Security number. For it to be my number, I would have to initiate its existence. Since these numbers are issued by agents of the Federal government, I would ask that you find out from them what the number is that they issued to me. You will find that they never issued one. They may have issued one to MARK REYNOLDS, but that is a fiction and I am not a fiction. (Your case may be that you never even had one issued, as in the case of my son.)

3. You ask that I fill my name out in black ink and in CAPITAL LETTERS ONLY. To do so would be creating a fiction of myself, known in law as a straw man. And if I were to "affirm" that the statements were true, I would be affirming that I am the fiction that I was just cunningly deceived into creating.

4. You ask that I place the name of the state I reside in within two blocks. I do not know how to put the place most folks call Arkansas in a space of two blocks. AR is not the state of Arkansas . And as for the zip code? That is a number the Post Office requests for the mailing of papers and packages. I cannot in good faith place a number that is a federal identifier on this card. I only use it for the Post Office, which is who it is intended to be used for, and I do so with them in protest.

5. And lastly, you request my signature. My signature is my personal property and I do not enter into any contracts using it unless I know all of the ramifications of the contract. I do not require or desire any benefits which you may wish to bestow upon me if I have entered into a contract with you. I have no desire to yoke myself together with people who avidly work against my beliefs.

Now, attach your letter which you make sure is notarized and send it return receipt requested. You will have then made a good faith effort to "register" with the Selective Service.

If by some stretch they accept this without a signature, and there IS a draft instituted, you have a number of ways out of that, too. I will tell you about that in an upcoming column. Stay tuned.