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A Recovering Voter
I
didn’t start right out voting. You know how it goes, you start on the
soft stuff for a little buzz and it leads you on, and pretty soon
you’re hooked on the hard stuff, the real high. My
sophomore year in high school was when it started. My buddies were
getting older guys to buy them beer. They were sneaking booze into the
punch at parties. They were trying to feel up Brenda Jones. Me, I was
campaigning for John Kennedy, passing out brochures, manning the phones
on Election Day. It’s embarrassing to admit it now, but that was my
introduction to “being a good citizen,” to the idealism of voting. As
soon as I was old enough, I voted. Every election. The national
elections, of course. Who didn’t want to be part of that process? I
mean, to vote for the President. Wow! And I voted consistently
Democratic. Sorry about the language, but there’s no other way to say
it. Then
there were the state elections. State senators, representatives,
governor, judges. I couldn’t get enough. I was fulfilling my
“obligation,” being “part of the process.” Pretty soon I was
voting in local elections; you know, mayor, city council, even school
board members. And I didn’t have any kids yet. Most of these were
nonpartisan elections, but it didn’t matter by then. I voted. I
studied the candidates. I boned up on the issues. I
couldn’t wait to vote. I looked for special elections, the kind where
they want to raise property tax rates. Sometimes, when there was a long,
dry spell between elections, I fantasized. I thought about starting a
recall drive. Maybe pick on some local or county official that wasn’t
too popular. Not because I wanted him or her out of office. Because I
wanted to vote. I needed the fix. I
remember waiting in those long, snaky lines at 7 a.m., seeing the big,
old clunky machines, waiting to pull down the little levers to make my
choices—I’d always pull the little levers down even when voting
straight party tickets. I wanted to feel I was making critical
decisions. Each lever was a little high, leading to the big one. Then
I’d throw that big lever back. Wham! And the curtain would open and I
would step out, a beatific smile on my face, and face the line of voters
still waiting. I’d feel superior because I’d gotten there first.
I’d proven my citizenship. What a high! Disenchantment
set in. I’d been taking uppers, voting Democratic. By 1972, I was
tired of them. What they gave me wasn’t enough. The promises of
euphoric utopia, if only we would vote for them, began to fail. I was
tired of being high on liberal platforms. I wanted to come down. In
1972, I voted Republican. Well,
who knew? Still in the future, Watergate was looming. A president
disgraced. A resignation. A national scandal. And I had voted for the
man. What a letdown. Even the off-year elections didn’t do anything
for me. I had gone from drinking liberalism to snorting conservatism. It
wasn’t enough. My mind was screaming out for a really meaningful
voting experience. I needed more! I started to mainline. In 1976 I began
to vote straight anti-incumbent. Turn the rascals out. Which rascals?
Didn’t matter. Get rid of them and let a new bunch in for a while.
Then vote them out. But vote. Do the right thing. The
effects were fleeting, the high lasting less time than ever. The
between-election discontent grew. The big D people or the big R people.
It didn’t matter who was in there. Voting didn’t seem to matter much
now, but I couldn’t stop. In 1992, I made a watershed decision. I went
off-brand, third party . . . I voted Libertarian for the first time. It
was exhilarating! It was meaningful! It was principled! My vote meant
something again! And no, it wasn’t wasted, because I was voting for
something I believed in. It
was a strange, energetic new high. And it got me back into activism. I
joined the big L party. I worked on projects. I joined the local group.
Worked on outreach. Brought in new members. And voted. It was in my
blood and I couldn’t stop. Didn’t want to stop. I couldn’t wait
for the next election cycle. I
wanted to start joining organizations just to vote for chapter president
or on what week to have a bake sale. I started hanging out at the polls,
even though they were closed. I spent all my time reading newspapers,
political opinions, news magazines, political sites on the Internet.
Everything else—job, family, friends—suffered. I couldn’t stop. I
was a hopeless addict. Addiction
is when you do something that you know harms you, but you don’t stop.
The harm in voting, what I never saw lurking in the corners, was the
moral responsibility. Sure, if my candidate wins, and he does something
stupid, like bomb a foreign country to take everyone’s mind off his
Oval Office peccadilloes, then part of the moral responsibility lies
with me. What I didn’t know is that I’m still responsible when my
candidate loses and the other moron does something equally idiotic. Why?
Because I took part in the system that put the weasel in. I not only
took part, I embraced the system. I became the system. On
August 20, the day of the Georgia primary, I came to terms with my
addiction. I voted for NOTA—None Of The Above—and I did it the easy
way. I stayed home with about 71 percent of Chatham County voters. For
the first time, I ignored an election. On purpose. Instead of the
post-non-electoral guilt hangover I expected, I felt just fine, proud,
in fact, that I finally did the right thing. The
election day choices were business as usual. The Republicans shamelessly
stumped on the platform of lower taxes and less government while the
past year under their reign has seen more expansion of government than
in any period since the LBJ years. At
least the Democrats were honest about their equally shameful
collectivist intentions, which are to have everyone live at the expense
of everyone else while they expand the category of “rights” to
include . . . well, everything that other peoples’ money can buy. On
Election Day, I refused to be part of a system with which I disagreed,
the American political system as now practiced. A system of excesses,
failures, and abuses. A system that has slowly and quietly repealed the
American Revolution and ground beneath its heel the standards for which
that war was fought. A system that no longer honors individual liberty
and personal responsibility and no longer protects private property. A
system that in the past 100 years has so thoroughly perverted the
meanings of the Constitution and the Bill of Rights as to make both of
these fundamental charters of freedom unrecognizable to their authors. I
took the first step. I admitted I was powerless over politics—that my
life had become unmanageable. I’m not sure if twelve-step programs
work for voter addiction, but this is a good first step. I just have to
hold on, get past November, and maybe there will be hope for me. Just
thinking about it, about the chance to try the new machines . . .
computer voting! I’m getting the shakes already. Is there hope for me? |