Strike The Root

There are a thousand hacking at the branches of evil to one who is striking at the root.

Bush Announces Impending Victory!

[Washington, D.C., November 1, 2001]  President Bush today addressed a joint session of Congress to announce that, “Victory is at hand!”  To the wild applause of both houses of Congress, he added that, “The enemy is nearly exhausted.  They are divided among themselves, and are ready to sue for peace.  However, we will not rest until every one of their bases has been bombed and all the terrorists are dead!”

As Senators and Congressmen listened, Mr. Bush reminded the world that, “We warned that all those who give comfort to terrorists are enemies of civilization.  We  made it clear that all those who are not with us are against us.  Now the Red Cross has seen that we mean business!”  The President had to pause repeatedly as thunderous cries of “Hail, victory!” and “One People, One America, One President!” and “Better dead than Red Cross!” interrupted his speech.

Various Red Cross spokesmen denied that their organization was on its knees.  “We are going to fight on to the last tensor bandage and roll of gauze,” claimed Mrs. Esmeralda Grimswald.  When asked how the international aid organization could expect to survive the massive bombing raids of its facilities in Afghanistan, she winked and replied, “From now on, we’re going to disguise our warehouses and hospitals as ammunition dumps and artillery emplacements.  The ‘smart’ bombs and cruise missiles don’t have a very high success rate against those,” she added.

Meanwhile, at International Red Cross Headquarters in Geneva, Switzerland, a spokesman denied that his organization was conspiring with C.A.R.E. and Oxfam to launch a counter-offensive by arming Afghan terrorist women and children with hundreds of tents, blankets and medical supplies.  However, a spokesman for the US Department of Defense stated that unmanned spy drones have photographed a box cutter sitting on top of a pile of suspicious-looking cardboard cartons outside the Kandahar Red Cross warehouse; “. . . and you know what that means!”

A State Department official, when asked why it was necessary for the United States Air Force to wage war against the Red Cross, had this to say:  “Oh, don’t be so naive!  Everybody knows that the Red Cross are under the control of the governments of the countries in which they operate!  Since they are in Afghanistan, they are obviously terrorists!  Besides,” he continued, “anybody who paints a bright red ‘X’ in the middle of a large white square on top of a building is just asking to be targeted!”

The reporter who asked the question was detained for questioning by members of the Office of Homeland Security.  Inquiries as to his whereabouts were met with a terse, “How much do you really want to find out?!”

November 2, 2001

Manuel Miles, aka Kaptain Kanada, is a politically incorrect writer from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada.  He is rude, nasty, intolerant, insensitive, hateful, hurtful, and proud of it. If something he writes hurts your sensitive New Age feelings, don't bother to whine to him about it; he doesn't care.  He is a self-professed enemy of the state, and his personal goal is "...to die fighting for Liberty."