The Real Criminals

by Emmett Harris

Instead of uttering the famous phrase of bakers everywhere, “It’s time to make the donuts,” an unlucky group of seven New England business owners were left stammering another well-known expression, “It’s time to pay the piper.”  Tuesday, the mailed fist of government came crashing down upon their heads.  The group, guilty of nothing more than withholding--ever so slightly--a portion of their perpetual tribute to the state, was charged with the unforgivable crime of tax evasion.  Uncle Sam’s starving, don’t ya know. 

According to The Boston Globe, “The seven individual Dunkin’ Donuts franchise owners pocketed illegal, undeclared rebate checks from the West Lynn Creamery in the mid-1990s . . . . [April 9’s] charges came as part of a long-running probe into West Lynn’s illegal ‘rebate program’ uncovered last year by the IRS.”  The idea was to let recipients claim higher costs for dairy products without disclosing the offsetting rebates.  The net effect, of course, was to reduce their tax burden.  It was a dastardly plan and prosecutors, to the tune of $7.2 million, have already pounded West Lynn for its part in the crime. 

The group of seven is reported to have received amounts well into the six figures ($668,065 for three of the seven).  This tells us nothing about what their actual tax liability would have been, but the dollar figure does look large enough to convince the casual observer of the greed and guilt of these small business proprietors. 

Then, to really place the reader squarely on the side of the government, the Globe reporter quotes IRS special agent Michael P. Lahey:  “We should not expect the honest taxpayer to foot the bill for those who hide income from the IRS.”  Ah.  So Lahey and U.S. Attorney Michael Sullivan are going after some donut makers for our benefit.  Does this mean that after the defendants are forced to pay restitution (and perhaps even fines) we can expect to see a smaller bill to foot in the future?  I can hardly wait.  Lahey’s statement is just plain stupid.  It’s like saying victims who have been successfully burgled are “footing the bill” for those who manage to better shield their valuables from the thieves. 

While it’s true these tax evaders may be criminals in the legal sense, they are not criminals in any moral sense.  In fact, by keeping money out of that giant sinkhole on the Potomac, they’ve have done us all a great service.  The taxes they didn’t pay provided that much additional funding to channel economic activity towards the satisfaction of consumers’ desires.  For that they deserve our thanks, not our scorn. 

But those consumer benefits are about to be reversed.  Government will have its tithe and we will all be the poorer for it.  Consider the following, compiled by Citizens Against Government Waste: 

 -- $750,000 will now be spent “to prevent Atlantic salmon from escaping state streams” in Alaska. 

-- Another $4 million will be allocated for “sea lion recovery.”

-- $7 million will be vaporized at West Virginia University’s new position emission tomography facility.

-- And $100, 000 will “encourage children to hold fairs displaying their inventions.”

Whenever our money goes to Washington, it’s spent according to the priorities of politicians and bureaucrats.  We no longer get to choose what best satisfies our wishes.  Their wishes supplant ours.  And they pay for it with our money!  Think about that and ask yourself who the real criminals are.

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April 11, 2002

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Emmett Harris lives upwind of the Kennedys on Cape Cod. 

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