When Callow Youth Meet BigBro

 by Amanda Bowen

A question on a standardized high school exit exam:

23. An “unalienable right” is:

A)    A right to a government

B)     A right denied to extraterrestrials

C)    A right that cannot be taken away except by due process of law

D)    A right without any obligation or responsibility

correct answer: C

An advertising slogan for a personal injury attorney:

“Justice is not automatic!” (all too true)

In a History classroom:

“Hey, who was the president during the Civil War?”

“Why should I know anything about the Bill of Rights? I haven’t taken American History yet!”

“Suffrage? What is suffrage? Don’t hand me a dictionary, you smart***!”

“I know Communism doesn’t work but I’m for it anyway. Hey, it’s great in theory, so whatever! You’ll see when I take over that little third-world country. Look out Saddam!”

In an English classroom:

“God, that Rand chick is awful! So long and boring and full of ideas!”

“Wait a second . . . . Why wasn’t Thenardier Hugo’s depiction of ideal man again? I mean he takes care of that little girl . . . uh . . . yeah that’s right, Marie! No wait, uh . . . . Well anyway. I love the abridged version!”

“So Plato had ‘Forms’ and that guy Aeristople or whatever had . . . wha? A is A sounds like some sort of math thing . . . .”

From a girl in Psychology at the end of the semester:

“Ok, right. So you’re saying the only two analytical psychologists that ever meant anything at all were Freud and Jung, and that human action can be boiled down into stuff which comes from mental illness and stuff done under compulsion?”

That’s just a smattering, actually. All of these utterings were heard from real live students inside my high school.  They originate with sophomores in Honors World History, Psychology, and English courses, respectively.

These are the kids “your” government is rearing to be future politicians, lawyers, and doctors. Hey, all I’ll be is a janitor living large in California. Gladiators, I salute you!