Lowell Potter's Columns
"It is amazing to me that people wonder why their tax bills are so increasingly enormous while the ranks of their euphemistically labeled "public servants" continue to swell unabated, not only to ride herd on us on their fancy new mountain bikes, but now to conveniently protect all and sundry from that burgeoning new and all-encompassing modern shibboleth, 'terrorism.'" Column by Lowell Potter.
"In essence, everything Diana Taurasi represents is the antithesis of the collective mentality." Column by Lowell Potter.
"You see, I believe you have to run your own life, and I can't be bothered to do it for you. I'm not trying to be mean here, but I've got my own life to run! The only thing I must remember while I do it is to respect other folks while they're busy running their lives. Simple, really--no scary science or advanced math involved." Column by Lowell Potter.
"That government in Washington City is waging de facto imperial warfare, not only around the globe, but even within the 'union's' own borders, against its own civilian population--that is surreal! Why, this is the historical stage in the life of a typical empire/nation/state often classified in text books as 'Period of Decline,' or 'Period of Despotism/Tyranny,' either of which generally immediately precedes 'Fall of the State.' That is surreal." Column by Lowell Potter.
"Is it just me, or is any one else sick of their inboxes constantly jammed full of United We Stand and God Bless America e-mail forwards, day in and day out, monotonously rivaling even the penis-enlargement, lower-your-mortgage-rate spammers for sheer tenaciously annoying perseverance?" Column by Lowell Potter.
"Iraqis will henceforth be able to enjoy modern abundances and the comforting security of a benevolent police enforcing all forms of legislated morality, altruistic random highway safety checks, vital and all-encompassing airport security, centrally administered industrial and environmental oversight...." Column by Lowell Potter.
"The Simpsons? I've never watched one in its entirety. Whenever I see about a minute's worth of an episode, I'm instantly reminded of how much it sucks." Hell yeah! Column by Lowell Potter.
A Child's History of the World
"Absent all the obligatory, self-serving back-slapping jingoism, the institutional aggrandizement, the glorification of the various Crusades, the de rigueur exaltation of 'enlightened Western Civilization,' and all the other whatnot deemed necessarily attendant any ultimately measurable success by my book's long dead promoters, the basic contextual and substantive outline of history ultimately remains intact. It was plain and simple, brother, though again, admittedly, artistically glamorized for its juvenile audience. The established events my old kiddie history's narrative recounted, clearly focused attention on the unavoidable and undeniable truths, the prima facie evidence, the proverbial smoking gun...that peoples and nations have mercilessly raped, pillaged, sacked, and otherwise utterly destroyed each others' buttcheeks since as far back as anybody in all of recorded history can remember!" An excellent, well-written column by Lowell Potter.
Bushes, Shrubs and Other Dangerous Tinder
"I remember my utter disbelief and abhorrence when Bush I's sternly condescending televised image metamorphosized before my very eyes into a horribly chilling and real personification of old Satan himself. Shifty malevolent eyes and thin, cruel lips heralded with obvious satisfaction the inexorably irreversible and grim course of war he now pursued in the name of all Americans––never mind the consent of the governed." Column by Lowell Potter.
Columbian Exposition and...Turkey?
"O.K....so let me get this straight. As a condition to allow US 'freedom' forces to ouster the world's primary scourge, Saddam Hitler, the USA will guarantee to condone the 'free democratic' state of Turkey's continued subjugation of an ancient culture and people, +/-16 million strong, who have for centuries battled for their own freedom and liberty." Column by new Root Striker Lowell Potter.