Adam Engel's Columns
"I'll tell you, Boobus, if you don't already know -- I know you're kind of slow on the uptake. THEY, THE MAN, the ones who control you...know that all they have to do is wave a flag, play a brassy Souza tune, and accuse you of being 'unpatriotic' and you'll let them get away with murder. Not merely murdering sub-human foreigners, but your own sons and daughters." Column by Adam Engel.
"The
"The government, so called, has never done anything for me, ever, but take, take and take some more. Take income tax....Take money for a military that doesn't protect anyone from anyone but itself – like organized crime, or the local gang. You pay your monthly dues, they won't burn down your store. You don't pay, something terrible might happen. The government has not provided me or anyone else with decent schools or housing or medical care or even a cheap and efficient transport system. So what have they done for me lately? Nothing. What have I done for the government all my life? Everything. From swallowing their propaganda as a child in one of their schools, to supporting their oppressive armies with my tax money – not of my own accord, believe me – to standing by like an idiot while they tell me what I can and cannot smoke, what I can and cannot drink, what I can or cannot eat or ingest into my system." Column by Adam Engel.
"...I'm Jewish, or so they tell me, that is, my parents were Jewish so that makes me Jewish? But what if my parents were hockey fans, would that make me too a hockey fan? No, the Germans came up with that one, the ethnicity of Judaism. In essence they're saying Moses didn't make you Jewish, Hitler did, and both the Zionists and the Nazis agree on this as they do on so many things, such as 'racial' purity by virtue of intra-marriage." Column by Adam Engel.
"So while the sheep are bahhing about the 'dems' and the 'repubs,' THE MAN who controls both of those groups of boated, pocket-stuffing windbags, THE MAN who controls most of the world with amazing violence and relentless pursuit of death and fear, is cooking up new ways to beat us down, to mold us into the pathetic model barnyard creatures of HIS psychotic vision." Column by Adam Engel.
"Look, Boobus Americanus...do you think I’m some kind of moron? Do you think I’m gonna take addictive sedatives/tranquilizers whatever, which happen to be expensive and artificially manufactured by Big Pharma, or kill myself with alcohol, when all I have to do is take a few hits off a more or less 'unprocessed' weed? C’mon, Boob." Column by Adam Engel.
"If you think I’m gonna smile like a just-pissed-my-pants Democrat and welcome an invading army, you’re as dumb as Dubya thinks you are." Column by Adam Engel.
"Well, now you have children of your own to offer to The Fat MAN. Don’t bother locking their doors or barring their windows--you can’t save them from THIS Midnight Rambler. They’re HIS, or will be. Why do you think HE let you reproduce?" Column by Adam Engel.
"Bloated and paranoid addicts of sugar, salt, lard, beer, nicotine, aspartame and MSG – Oh, Boobus Americanus, carnivorous sheep, slaughtering and led to slaughter – Uncle Sam is YOU!" Column by Adam Engel.
"Again,
I’m not the type to squeal on a guy who’s basically, I mean who
appears to be patriotic, but some folks don’t take kindly to flag
abuse.
Psycho Terrorists from Outer Space
"Psycho
Terrorists from the Galaxy of Pissed Off Aliens have begun amassing squadrons of
flying saucers over Planet Earth, and they mean business.
They want us to catalog and submit all our WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION (WMD)
in three weeks or there’ll be hell to pay.
"Civil Disobedience does not mean non-violent obedience to the MAN’S determination of what constitutes a safe, respectable parade. It’s gumming up the works by throwing bodies into the gut of the machine; it’s putting bodies between THE MAN’S soldiers and their victims. For god’s sake, it’s being willing to get hurt." Column by Adam Engel.
Lizard Brain on Line for the Log Flume
"No matter how many people turned out, the entire event was merely that, an event, choreographed by THE MAN to frustrate, exhaust, and humiliate the majority of participants. Rallies are great to get people out together, show them that they’re not alone, create a sense of spirit and energy, like the old pep rallies in high school. But real change is probably going to mean changing the way we live. And real protest is going to be dangerous and frightening." A report on the NYC antiwar protest by Adam Engel.
"Whether the NRA wrangles lighter gun control legislation from THE MAN is as irrelevant to my ownership of a weapon as the ACLU’s lawyers’ haggling with THE MAN over my right to speak. THE MAN and his shredded Constitution have nothing to do with my decision to defend myself from HIM or talk trash to HIM. They might, the NRA on the Mainstream right, the ACLU on the Mainstream left, both be doing a disservice by perpetuating the charade that this is some sort of society or democracy, that we do everything all fair and legal around here." Another outstanding column by Adam Engel.
"Johnsons shut up and leave you alone unless you need a hand, unless anybody needs a hand and wants a hand. They'll help you out and then be on their way....I imagine if there was a religion for Johnsons it would be some variation of Zen, in which the only law, commandment or moral imperative would be to SIT DOWN and SHUT UP." Another great column by Adam Engel.
"If you're going to hell, go kicking and screaming. Practice civil disobedience, go absolutely limp. Force Satan to CARRY you to eternal torment. After a few million mush-monkeys, his back will be sore as JFK's after a crème de menthe hangover tag-team romp with Marylyn, Bobby and that gangster's nympho gun moll." Column by Adam Engel.
Dual Use for the Weird Uncle Sam Society
"I'd rather die now, a free human spitting the fattest, gooiest, throat-clam I can muster at the WUSS than live another minute as an ox-dumb extra in THE MAN's blockbuster war extravaganza against life." Column by new Root Striker Adam Engel.