Dr. Evil to the Rescue


Exclusive to STR

September 22, 2008

Whenever I hear the government throw around dollar amounts like they are playing a game of Monopoly, I can't help but think of the movie 'Austin Powers.' The scene where he threatens to blow up the world unless he is paid $1 million and his assistant Number 2 leans over and tells him that a million dollars is not a lot of money anymore. He then changes his demand to $100 billion. Of course, what makes this scene is the camera coming in for the close-up and his finger at the corner of his mouth illustrating just how much money this really is.

I can't help but laugh when I see the government using the same reckless method to 'save' the financial markets. Every time there is a crisis, Bush or one of his cronies can be counted on to come up with some exorbitant amount of money to 'fix' the problem. I keep waiting to see one of them raise a finger towards their mouth as the camera pans in for a close-up. The only problem is unlike Austin Powers, this is not a movie and it's not funny.

With a price tag that would make even Dr. Evil envious, the Bush administration announced its plan to bail out the financial firms. The plan is to buy the bad debt that these firms are holding. What's the price? Over $500 billion (finger to mouth as camera zooms in). Of course, this money doesn't really exist, but then again neither does any of the money they so frivolously throw around. This is also on top of the billions and billions (finger to mouth camera zooms in) of fake Federal Reserve Notes they have already put into the markets lately to falsely prop them up.

I keep wondering when the rest of the world is going to wise up to the Ponzi scheme the United States is operating. Maybe it's because these other countries are too busy trying to keep their own Ponzi scheme into play that they are missing the shell game being played by our own shysters. Oh yes, this house of cards will finally come crashing down and very soon. I don't think there will be any amount of fake currency that will save us, either . . . no matter how many fingers they raise to their lying lips.

My question is, if it's so easy to just create this kind of 'money' out of thin air, why only half a trillion? Hell, let's fire up those printing presses! I say we should make it $100 trillion dollars (my finger raised to the corner of my mouth) and let's not stop there. Let's give every person in this country let's say . . . oh, I don't know . . . $1 million (once again finger to mouth); that should really fix things!

The problem with this kind of thinking is it won't work. All that will happen is the problem will get much worse, inflating our already devalued dollar. The government knows this yet still has no problem creating more 'wealth' out of nothing. You cannot make something out of nothing; it doesn't work that way. This is nothing more than a scheme, one that would land the average broker on Wall Street in prison, but the government gets away with it every day! The United States government is the number one counterfeiter in the world, the number one Ponzi scheme operator and the number one enemy of the free market system.

Don't expect to see any of these criminals on the evening news; it isn't going to happen. The only thing you can expect to see on the news is the next crony announcing the next answer to a problem created by the very system that is going to 'fix' it. How will they 'fix' it? Well of course they will offer $_____________________ (fill in the blank and be sure to place your small finger at the corner of your mouth).

Well all is not lost; I played the lottery Saturday night . . . maybe I will get lucky and win $43 million dollars (my finger raised to the corner of my mouth).

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Mike Wasdin's picture
Columns on STR: 47

Mike Wasdin is an Anarcho-Capitalist from Phoenix, Arizona. He also moderates an anti-government website on Yahoo.