About a month ago, I took some time off. Some of you may have noticed a lull in my writing. I have been giving a lot of thought to my life lately, and I have come to a realization; this whole thing is futile. No matter how much we talk and write about this, nothing will change, ever!
Some of you will say I am giving up, waving the white flag. I don't look at it that way. I see it as facing reality, and the reality is, we can't win. The Nazis have more guns, more money, more power, and more resources than we do. I am not saying that they are right, hell no, they are wrong. Freedom good, government bad, bad, bad, bad, bad! But after years of saying things like that, and countless hours of typing away on a keyboard, ranting in chat rooms, and giving the government the finger, nothing has changed. In fact, we are not only still slaves, but we are less free now than before.
Since I have become part of the freedom movement, I have seen things like the Patriot Act, the Justice For All Act, Homeland Security, privacy intrusions, rights trampled, and now computer chips and national ID cards are right around the corner. So in all of our ranting and raving, what have we accomplished? I am more aware today than I was five years ago, but at what cost? Before swallowing the red pill, I had a lot of things going on in my life, but anymore it seems like all I do is hang out on the internet and bitch about these Nazi pricks.
Speaking of the freedom movement, I have also given that some thought lately as well. A movement suggests a trend, a moving from one direction to another. To even call this a freedom movement is really a joke; there is no movement! If anything, people are moving away from freedom, not towards it. What we really have going on in this country is a Nazi movement.
In my war on the government, there have also been some unintended casualties as well. I have been reckless with friends and family by putting them in harm's way. Not intentionally of course, but reckless just the same. I would sometimes forget that others were not interested in risking everything they have to join me in my war, and inadvertently put them in harm's way by exposing them to the Evil Empire through one of my many ballistic actions.
Yes, I understand that it is wrong to initiate force; I understand that theft is wrong, even if it is for a really good cause; I understand that the government is inherently evil, I understand all of that. But before I knew all of that, I had a good life within the Matrix. I had a good business, a new home, car, and a boat. I had many friends, and lots of family.
Of course, I knew the steak did not really exist, but it was still flavorful just the same. My mind told me that it was good, and I believed it; ignorance really was bliss! I guess I am tired of eating sewer rat, and would rather go back to the world the Matrix provided for me. Reality can leave a bad taste in your mouth, and I guess I just like the taste of steak too damn much.
I thought at first that I would just be able to lurk without leaving. Just like an alcoholic who says 'one beer couldn't hurt'; I thought I could just cut back on my consumption. Truth is, if I stay even slightly involved, I will fall off the wagon, and be right back in. I need to get away from all of this for a while, maybe even for good. I have some big things going on in my life now, and I need to focus on them 100%. It's hard to do that while responding to hundreds of e-mails per day, and participating in countless political discussions on the internet.
I have let the government become the focal point of my life, and it has almost destroyed me. I let the government control who I was, and what I thought about myself for too long. As a wiser person than myself told me recently, 'only you can control who you are, no one else.' Well I am going to do just that. This will most likely be the last you will see one of my rants, at least for a while. I am still with you in spirit, and if the day ever does come that there is a revolution in this country, then I will give my support, blood, and life if need be. But until that day, we are all just preaching to the choir.
At this point in time, the people don't want freedom, so I am going to swallow the blue pill, and join them in sheep land. I am just tired of yelling 'Fire!' with no one listening, and besides, I need to look out for my best interest for a while. So for now, I will be in the corner enjoying my steak. If the time ever does come when the people in this county want freedom, someone please remember to disconnect me, and shove the red pill in my mouth. I will be more than happy to pick up where I left off, but until then . . . oh waitress, I will take the rib eye, medium rare please . . . ummm, just like I remember it!