Last month a story circulated the globe about a 25 year old unemployed computer programmer from Berlin being forced by the German government to choose between her unemployment benefits or doing “the nasty” for some taxable income. Prostitution is legal in Germany, so working in a brothel is considered equivalent to waiting on tables or serving drinks.  The woman is in a real dilemma: either she puts out for the johns or she gets shut out of her unemployment “benefits.”

 

The problem is not that the “world’s oldest profession” is legal, but how people throughout the globe much like hookers have turned over most of their existence to the state (pimp). Government sponsored compulsory unemployment insurance is just one of the many stealth ways in which individual surrender their “souls” to the state. The safety net as it’s described can easily turn into a web that strips you of your humanity and makes you vulnerable to the whims of the politicians (pimp) du jour.

Germany is not the only place where prostitution is legal.  In Nevada, there are dozens of brothels operating openly with legal blessings. One of those brothels, The Mustang Ranch, attracted the ire of the US Government, not because the “ladies” where getting too wild by congressional standards, but because they didn’t pay their ultimate pimp (the IRS). The feds proceeded to bitch slap the owners of the Mustang Ranch, ultimately taking control of their enterprise and “pimpin' it out” themselves.

 

Here in the US, all taxpayers are nothing but a bunch of “Ho’s” being pimped out by the government.  The feds take a piece of all the action, in exchange for a “safety net,” and every once in a while if some taxpayers (Ho’s) start to bitch too much, they are stripped of their income and denied their freedom (just ask Thoreau) or reminded of the existence of other pimps who are much more cruel and vicious, like Saddam Hussein or the Iranian Ayatollahs, as opposed to America’s “benevolent” pimps.

Not to be outdone, the religious right in the US is fixing to try its hand at some pimpin' of their own.  No, not like Jimmy Swaggart's tryst with a lady of the evening or Jim Baker’s shenanigans with the seductress Jessica Haan. We’re talking some good, clean and sanctified “faith based” pimpin'. Want to get married? Better make sure the pimp agrees with whom you’ve chosen for a mate. Want to cohabitate in “sin”? You might make your pimp angry. Things been kind of slow and you’re looking to pay for some action? Make sure it's taxable action or the pimp will “throw your ass down.” Looking to alter your conciseness or improve your performance? Make sure the pimp approves of whatever you plan to ingest. Thinking of sticking your privates somewhere? Better check with the pimp which orifices he approves of. Whatever happened to “render unto Caesar what is Caesar’s and unto God what is God’s” or “my kingdom is not of this world”?  Doesn’t the word Christian derive anything from Christ?

 

Is prostitution the world's oldest profession simply because lots of men can’t keep it in their pants and some women love the cash? Or is it because humanity consists in the majority of natural born PIMPS and HO’S?  Most folks can’t imagine an existence without some state-sponsored security blanket, and others can’t imagine living without being able to impose their views on everyone else, while relieving them of their income. 

The German woman’s problem is a simple one but not easy to solve. If she finds prostitution immoral, she should just return all her unemployment compensation in exchange for a refund of any payments she made towards her unemployment insurance, then she is free to sleep and wake up by herself (if she really wants to). Unemployment insurance should not be compulsory, it should be a matter of choice dictated by individual situations and free market forces. Why isn’t it easy to solve a problem with such a simple, clear and obvious solution? Because the pimps makes the rules and the Ho’s loves their pimps, blindly.