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The Presumption Against Marriage, Part II “Bachelors
know more about women than married men.
If they didn’t they’d be married, too.” – H.L.
Mencken. A
great sage predicted I’d take some serious abuse for what I wrote
about marriage the other day. He
was right, but for the benefit of our readers, I’m going to provide
public refutation to some of the arguments and whines that were thrown
my way en masse–if nothing else, their vaginations actually
strengthened my overall position. Burn
the Heretic! As
I have noted in a previous article, Supine
or Fall, whenever a man stands up for himself on gender
issues, he is immediately accused by women of being unmanly.
Why? It’s because
we stood up to them, and that’s not right.
That’s not manly. We’re
supposed to let them walk on us. These
women, and those lickspittle male orcs who hobble in their wake, would
be wise to remember that the western world now embraces equality
between the sexes (at least officially), and that no one should be de
facto superior to anyone else. Walking
on men, in theory, is not allowed.
Furthermore,
it’s a man’s duty to define and defend himself, and I can think of
no occasion when this is more true than in making personal life
choices. Marriage can be
life joy or it can be life sentence, but there’s no room to make
allowances for political correctness when thinking deeply about such
eventualities. Why would
any women be aghast at our pontificating over it?
Should we not stop to smell a flower before picking it?
I say stop and smell, inspect its structural base, and
chemically analyze the ground around it before making a purchase.
Perhaps some women became irate at me because they secretly
realize that marriage does not offer men the advantages it once did,
so their awareness causes them to go after heretics like myself who
threaten to make this knowledge public. I’ll
recall the case of Darren Blacksmith here.
Darren wrote a “just say no to marriage” piece and got
kerosene poured all over him. His
offense was such that he quit the business.
Luckily, this would never be my response.
I’m incorrigible. Harassing
me only produces more words. It’ll
take more than a few china dolls to deter me from tackling this
subject, and if I keep hearing from them, Part III will be even better
than Part II! Nuance
Lost: As
much as I hate the word “nuance,” with its outraged
tobacco-addicted, post-modernist French professor connotations, I
think that the nuance of my argument was lost on some of my critics.
Emotions run so scarlet on marriage that many a female reader
did not understand the point that I was trying to make.
Marriage certainly can be a very good thing and it is, on the
aggregate, beneficial for society, but in this day and age, PRESUMPTION
must be against it. Our
default position should be–“it’s not a good move.”
That does not mean it isn’t a good move for everybody in
every situation. There are
over three billion women on this planet, and many of them could make
excellent wives, but you should be vigilant, and nowhere is this more
true than in the über-spoiled Who’s
Fault Is This Predicament? Is
it the fault of free marketeers like myself clamoring for government
to get more of its vile fingers into our private lives?
Hell no! Ask the
individuals who keep voting for political figures who brag about
increasing taxes and adding to the burden with which government
sabotages our lives. Many
of those who automatically look to the state to provide solutions are
the same ones who complain about the decline of marriage today.
If they didn’t elect redistributionist judges and
politicians, men would not fear marriage the way we do.
It shouldn’t be, “if you can’t marry a man, marry the
government.” Let’s
change it to “solve problems amongst yourselves.”
I think that’s an ideal solution.
If the divorce courts end their war on men, then we will once
again become more friendly regarding matrimonial vows.
Until then, it’s best to harken back to the wisdom of
Benjamin Disraeli: “Every woman should marry–and no man.” An
Elite Club: Women
of the sistahood view marriage as being an elite club and want nothing
more than full-time membership. They,
whether they deny it or not, admire their friends who are married, and
this admiration can sometimes even be transferred onto their
friend’s husbands. Women
who are married, even if it’s to users who care nothing about them,
are higher on the social plane than women who are single.
This is implicit acknowledgment of the sweet deal many women
receive through marriage. Personally,
I do not begrudge them their social hierarchies and care little about
affairs apart from my own, but these same women then try to fit guys
like me into their social parameters, which is absurd.
Male
Diversity Verboten: This
attempt to coerce men into accepting their worldview is quite
disturbing but also rather comical.
Ironically, it indirectly benefits fellows like me as the fact
that I’ve been married before makes me seem far more legitimate than
most of my friends. I am a
man who could be amenable to their terms and line of reasoning, or
non-reasoning as the case may be.
After all, I made the vow once and bought rings twice, so I
must be on their wavelength. Am
I not? Not.[i]
Yet, my friends, like the infamous Dianabol, are knocked out of
the box repeatedly because they’ve never been married before.
Why should he be part of the caste of untouchables?
They’d say because he’s a 40 year old perpetual bachelor.
Therefore, he must be a loser.
I even heard a girl say this very thing about him the other
day. She assumed
that since he was never married before that there must be something
wrong with him. Why did
she not assume that there may be something very right about him?
Dianabol is a prince of man.
He exercises five days a week and drinks for four on the
weekends. He works
constantly, makes serious coin, and has an apartment that looks like
it came out of “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.”[ii]
Dianabol’s a profoundly educated man with a high
thrill-seeking personality who strikes the great majority of girls as
being the epitome of fun, but his uncomplicated (legally speaking
only) past precludes him from some of their considerations.
Guess what? It’s
their loss. What’s
In It For Me? I
found out yesterday that I’m not supposed to be asking this question
about marriage. It appears
that many women believe our default position should be “why ask
why” on the topic (rather than “why me”).
One girl even called me selfish for putting forth the
proposition! Shouldn’t I
be selfish about my own interests?
Maybe I’m not supposed to have any interests.
Perhaps my having interests is really a plot to dehumanize
women. It seems that the
message sent is, “you will marry a chick the size of Contrary
to what many a woman may say, I believe that “What’s in it for
me?” is the central question one should ask before signing one’s
life away. If you derive
no benefit, then run, don’t walk.
Again, of course, there’s the nuance thing, as it’s
situational. My life
certainly is worth signing away in a fight against Hitler or Pol Pot,
but I refuse to fall down upon my sword in a scrape for Calphalon pots
or Lancome makeup. Well, you’ve heard what I have to say about the matter, but never forget the triumphant words of Zsa Zsa Gabor before making your own decision, “A man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.” [i]
Of course, I say that now but got engaged a second time at
Christmas. I suppose
if the right youthful Laotian national comes along next year, I
may have to eat my above words.
I’m just letting you know in advance due to a history of
snap decisions on my part.
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