Send in the Chicken Hawks!


I have an idea about where President Bush can find the manpower to fight his war in Iraq. Instead of hitting up the French abroad or the National Guard and reserves at home, send in the chicken hawks!

There are millions of these chicken hawks across America. They know who they are. They think President Bush walks on water. They brand anyone who criticizes his policies as liberals, communists or Al-Qaeda supporters. They think that bumper stickers saying "Iraq First. Then France." are rip-roaringly funny. They cheerlead for Bush's military missions as if they were rooting for their favorite football teams.

And they have never lifted a finger to serve in the military.

They love to point out the hypocrisy of limousine liberals. Limousine liberals take advantage of every imaginable tax loophole while imposing an incredibly harsh tax burden on us little people. They clamor for tax-funded government programs without ever first passing the hat to see if anyone would voluntarily support such an activity. They weep and wail about the plight of the poor while they themselves luxuriate in their Beverly Hills mansions and Park Avenue townhouses. They weep and wail even more about the plight of the downtrodden masses from their retreats in Aspen and Palm Beach.

Limousine liberals play games with other people's money while chicken hawks play games with other people's lives.

The hypocrisy of chicken hawks is just as rank as that of limousine liberals. When it comes time to get dirt under their fingernails in the name of causes they support, they run and hide.

The draft dodgers of the Vietnam era at least acted on their convictions. This is far more than can be said of today's chicken hawks.

So come on, Mr. Chicken Hawk.

It's your turn now.

You know who you are.

Quit whining about how the French won't come out and play. And for crying out loud, do not open your pie hole a year from now about the "need" for a draft.

Man up, Rambo!

Turn off Rush Limbaugh. Turn of Sean Hannity. Turn off Bill O'Reilly. Put down your beer.

Raise your right hand. Swear that oath. Ship out.

Welcome to my island you stupid maggots! Get off of my bus, NOW!

Is that a tear in your eye there, recruit?

Hoo-rah! Semper Fi! Do or die! One, two, three, four. I love the Marine Corps!

Grab that M-16 and storm into Baghdad!

But I'm too old. The military won't take me. Don't worry: one of the multitude of countries with troops in Iraq will no doubt have you in their military.

Recently, a caller to Sean Hannity's radio program -- an Army veteran -- called Hannity on the fact that, while he thought this Iraq war was the grooviest thing on earth, he himself had never served. Hannity replied, "I was never called to serve."

In case Hannity is not aware, there has not been a draft in this country since 1974. Everyone who has joined the military since then has served voluntarily. And this is the way it ought to be.

We have millions of Americans who zip in the front, yet who will make endless pathetically lame justifications for not doing the heavy lifting in support of the policies they advocate.

Many of those who scream the loudest in favor of the Iraq war never spent a day in the military. Limbaugh, Hannity, Bennett, Perle, Wolfowitz . . . the list of politicians and pundits goes on and on. The only member of Congress with children currently serving in the military is Senator Tim Johnson (D-SD). Imagine a platoon composed entirely of chicken hawk politicians' sons staging a midnight raid on Baghdad.

Imagine monkeys flying out of my eyeballs.

Leona Helmsley once remarked that "Only little people pay taxes." I guess only little people fight wars.

The leader of the Chicken Hawk Brigade ought to be none other than Vice President Dick Cheney, who served as Secretary of Defense during Gulf War I even though he never spent a day in uniform. When asked why he never served in Vietnam, Cheney replied, "I had other priorities."

There is a black marble wall in Washington, DC, displaying the names of 58,325 Americans who perished in the Vietnam war. Many of them no doubt had other priorities, too.

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Doug Newman's picture
Columns on STR: 34

Doug Newman is a New Jersey native who has lived in Colorado since 1995. He hosts a Christian, Libertarian web page called The Fountain of Truth. He writes for several pro-freedom web pages. He is retired from the U.S. Naval Reserve and works in sales to support his punditry habit.